There have to be rules

Things I try not to eat in public:

Spaghetti. I still haven't mastered the art of slurping/biting noodles so that they don't spray myself and nearby diners.

Ribs. You just can't use a damn fork.

Ice cream cones. Really. Drippy obtuseness. And I inevitably get a cone that leaks.

Chicken wings. Once again, no fork. Red, sticky sauce all over fingers and mouth. And cheeks. Sometimes in hair. Never a wet wipe to be found.

Things I will eat in public, onlookers be damned:

Huge corned beef with mustard on rye sandwiches from this restaurant.

Anything from a fair or festival, including but not limited to: smoked turkey legs, elephant ears, funnel cakes. (The Indiana State Fair starts in three weeks. Woot!)

Anything from this restaurant. Including tiny bundles of fried squid legs, crusty bread dipped into warm, gooey goat cheese, and multiple types of meatballs. Mmmm, meatballs.

Stolen bites from the husband's plate of seared beef tongue from this restaurant. Followed up with beet ice cream.


I may have food issues. Okay, I definitely have multiple food issues. I could probably devote a whole blog to them. SO?

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go grab a snack now.