Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Karma is a bitch

I'm not a tiny person. Short, yes. Small waist and little hips? No. So when Mr. LA Fitness came into work a few weeks ago, I think he saw a prime target.

Construction has begun on a new LA Fitness just a little down the road from where I work. In the meantime, they have a small table and chair covered by a tent sitting on the side of the road with a huge banner that reads, "JOIN NOW!" I'd love to know how many people have stopped, cranes and steel beams in the background, battling four lanes of traffic to sign up with a guy who has a folding chair as his only piece of office equipment.

He had on his little white polo, embroidered with the LA Fitness logo on the pocket. He ordered his drink and then asked, "Hey! Do you need a gym membership?" UM. I probably do, really. We all have eyes, we can all see that yeah, I'd probably benefit from a little exercise, and it's quite apparent you're the biggest salesy salesman, but really. Don't try to hawk your wares to me while I'm at work.

I told him it would probably be way more money than I could afford, and besides, I really do love donuts. He assured me he'd give me THE BEST DEAL EVER. I assured him it would still be too much. "BEST DEAL EVER!" "UNLESS IT'S APPROXIMATELY $2 A MONTH, NO WAY!" He continued that way the whole time I made his drink. Him going, "I can cut you such a deal," and me going, "Uh, doubt it."

While he was standing, waiting for his drink, an older guy who comes in at least once a day, stepped up behind him. I turned to him, smiled, and said, "You need a gym membership? This guy will totally help you out."

LA Fitness guy turned to him and started his spiel. Older guy patted his small gut and said he was already in shape. He squinted at the guy's polo and smirked slightly.

"Oh. You're that guy that's been sitting on the side of the road!"

The flustered look of the LA Fitness guy was priceless. He stammered, handed out business cards and slunk out of the store.

No means no, ya know?


Elisa said...

Oh,how they bug me. Although I do with I was thinner, if only to walk by their gyms eating an ice cream ;-)

Elisa said...

BTW, are you on Twitter? If not, you totally should be. It's fun. And it would be more fun if you were on it ;-)

Keely said...

hahhahha! That's awesome. I never go with what the salesy salespeople are selling just on general principal.

Kelly said...

Elisa, I'm not on twitter. I'm not sure I can afford another addiction. ;)

Keely said...

But twitter is FUNNY. If you're stalking the right people (not me).

I gave you a present. Swing by and pick it up! Bring beer!

Melanie said...

Pushy gym personnel always make me uncomfortable plus, you know, the teeth and muscles and hair product and tans.

No. Thanks.

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