Friday, June 13, 2008

Tips on how not to be an asshole. Again.

Unless you're having some major kind of crisis, like you have a major head wound or are being chased by rabid monkeys, don't walk into a coffee shop one minute before the store closes. And then order four hand-crafted beverages. (Yeah, I said "hand-crafted." WHAT?)

And then, as I make your drinks, don't eye the pastry case longingly for a donut. Because those donuts are already wrapped up, ready for the next morning. The light is off in the case, the glass is all clean and sparkly. Get a clue.

And DEFINITELY don't say, "Awww, we caught you right at closing time." Because then I might have to grit my teeth and smile and nod pleasantly when I really want to jab you in the eye. EVERYTHING WAS CLEAN, dumbass. Because we were closing in ONE MINUTE.

This is why restaurant workers spit in other people's food.* Because for the lovagawd, that's rude.

*I wouldn't do this. I've never done this. BUT I'M JUST SAYING.


Jenni said...

Kris and I won't even enter a store or restaurant if it's 30 minutes from closing. We both know that awful feeling of being almost done and some jackass comes in! They are always oblivous to the fact that you are closing the store! That you want to go home.

I love your blog. You are so funny! ; )

Kelly said...

Unless it's an emergency run for I don't know, TP or medicine, I won't go into stores that close to close either!

I'm pretty sure I've never had a coffee emergency. :P

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