Sunday, September 24, 2006

Tips on how not to be an asshole

Really. No one thinks you're cool when you order your tall latte nonfat, with 13.5 pumps of vanilla syrup, 180°, no foam, extra whipped cream in a grande cup. People think you're a pain-in-the-neck asshole. And just how many lattes did you have to drink to come up with that perfect combo to annoy people with? Does your world end if you get only 12 pumps? I'll give you a couple of changes per drink. Like two. Like nonfat and extra hot. But get over yourself on the other stuff.

And for the love of all things holy, do not complain that we fill the cups too full. Because I know you'd be the same jerk to complain that we didn't fill the cups enough. We try to give you the best deal for your dollar. It's not our fault that you're not smart enough to drink a hot beverage without spilling it all over yourself.

When ordering at the drive-through, never mumble. Ever. Speak slowly and clearly, and face the freaking speaker. Don't order while staring at the glovebox, because we'll have you repeat your order nine times until we understand that it's exactly 13.5 pumps of vanilla syrup you want.


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