Listy McListerson

1. It isn't really helping when my two-year-old is being a complete and utter butthead in Target and you cluck your tongue and say, "They're a handful at this age, aren't they?"

2. I hate magicians. And magic shows. You know it's fake, I know it's fake, so therefore it isn't all that impressive. And why can't you just tell me HOW IT'S DONE?

3. In a week and one day, I'll have a one-year-old. While I don't want anymore children, it still majorly bums me out that he's my very last one-year-old.

4. Our stimulus refund check dohickey came today. We have to go out later and buy a lawnmower. I hate buying unfun, practical things with free money. I also hate doing what George Bush wants. But I DO like saying "stimulate the economy." It sounds dirty.

5. Did I ever follow-up on Operation Potty Train Smella? She's completely trained. Pee, poop, day and night. I can't believe how quickly she caught on and how proud I am of her. But then she runs around like a total maniac in the shoe aisle (see #1), and I figure something ought to be easy.

1, 2, 3

1. I was going to go on and on about how Smella might really be potty trained for good, seeing as how she has gone to the bathroom to do all her business by herself for the past couple of days, and how all morning she managed to poop! in her potty too several times. But then she woke up from her nap this afternoon and pooped on the bathroom floor. *sigh*

2. Yay for antibiotics! My bladder feels 100% better. Which is great, because Big D was complaining his ear hurt and was sort of plugged up this morning.

3. This list will only be three things long. I'm freaking tired and there's a rice krispie treat calling my name. Hear it?

Notes from Puddleville

1. Smella's not really doing so great on the potty training front. Yes, I know it's only been two days, but I'm over it already. And wow. I had not the faintest idea how much urine a teeny tiny 28 pound baby girl could produce. Oh, and it is really a lot of fun when you hear, "Oh, boy. Oh boy!" realize that's the "I gotta pee" call, go running to find the toddler, and then actually slip in a puddle of piss. And then look up to see tiny pee footprints down your hallway. No, really, a BLAST!

2. Speaking of peepee, I have a bladder infection. I think it started Monday, but I hate going to the doctor, so I tried to drown it in liquids and hope. Didn't work. I now have orders to drown it in liquids and an antibiotic. Nice.

3. I have to plan some kind of yummy birthday dinner and cake for the husband on Saturday. He'll eat anything and is so not picky, so he's no help whatsoever. Wonder how he'd like lasagna with a side of pee?

4. My mom came to watch the kids today while I finally hauled myself to the doctor. She likes to call it "tinkling." MY LORD, I hate that phrase. It's what she used when my sister and I were little, and I hated it then. She knows my hatred of it, so all day she was telling Smella, "Do you have to tink---pee?" I love that woman.

5. Did I mention pee? Because I've had several puddles of it all.over.the.house. I feel like I may be drowning in it. *glub*

The peepee dance

So I just up and decided to give potty training a shot today with my two-year-old. Oh, hell, I've been dreading thinking about it for some time now because she shows all the signs and girls are supposed to be waaaay easier than boys and I just don't have enough stuff to do. We've had the pottychair sitting in the kids' bathroom for several months now to, you know, acquaint her with it. She's sat on it a few times and played around, enough so that's she's not too freaked out about it.

When I asked her if she'd like to big a Big Girl now and wear Big Girl Underwear just like mommy this morning, she politely declined. I reminded her that if she wanted to wear Big Girl Underwear that she wouldn't have to wear diapers and I'd never have to bug her about changing her diapers. That piqued her interest a little. Smella really hates to be interrupted during Oswald. The whole thing was sealed when I told her that her bestest little guy friend was using the potty and wearing Big Boy Underwear (c'mon, all the other kids are doing it!). I let her pick out a pair of Little Mermaid undies (which ohmygawd, baby girl underwear is SO cute) and she's been dry for about two hours so far. I ask approximately every three seconds if she has to pee and she says, "No fank you." I figure the first time she pees all over Ariel's head she will have a complete and utter meltdown, but I'm hoping this takes. I'll only have one baby in diapers then.

Oh, and she was looking quite fetching this morning in a Beauty and the Beast t-shirt, Little Mermaid undies and hooker shoes. And crazy hair.

Lots and lots of crazy hair.