The perks are few and far between

One of the best parts of having children is that they're convinced that the sun rises and sets out of your ass. Case in point: My five-year-old runs up to me and says, "What's two plus three?" today. I tell him the answer, and he immediately checks on his calculator.

"Wow, Mom! You're right! It is five!"

I try not to be offended that he double checks me, but I figure this gets worse as they age. I bet he doesn't think I'm nearly as cool when he's fifteen with pimples trying to hook-up with the girl down the street. I'm still going to try to shock and awe him for as long as possible.

And the seven-month-old girlchild? All I really have to do now is walk into the room, man. Her face lights up like I'm the best thing she's ever seen in her life. It's almost too easy. I'm pretty sure she thinks we're best friends, but once again, I bet she doesn't think that at say, twelve, right on the cusp of puberty.

But for now, I'm going to enjoy this sunshine out of the butt thing. Sometimes it's the only thing parenting has going for it.