Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Feeling sheepish

Remember yesterday when I made fun of the weathermen's boners about a couple of inches of snow?


Big D has no school day, the husband is probably coming home early because only he and one other guy showed up at his job. My job is likely to call and tell me not to come in this evening. And all the major public universities are closed. I'm not sure I've ever seen that happen.

We're up to about eleven inches, and it's still snowing.

So sorry, weathermen. I guess you were right, even if your predictions were a few hours off. You sport those boners proudly while gushing about record snowfall totals. You've earned it.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Random Tuesday thoughts


1. As soon as I can get some pants and shoes on, I'm taking the kids to my mom's house for the day. We have a standing date on Tuesdays where she'll watch my kids while I do homework all day. Is she not the best mom in the world or what?

2. I'm taking sociology this semester, and I hate it. I thought it might be really kind of interesting and neat, but nope. HATE IT. It's boring. I fall asleep every. single. time. I have to read the book. As in, fall asleep on the book and then wake up later to drool-soaked pages. Ugh.

3. I know I was all "woohoo!" a little earlier about getting rid of the babies for the day, but honestly, I miss them so hard while they're gone. Last week I had raging PMS and actually got a little teary when I came home after dropping them off.

It's okay, I just rolled my own eyes at that.

4. I got Smella's hair cut on Friday. What was once half-way down her back is now a almost a chin-length bob. It's still curly and adorable, but it's not nearly as crazy. Surprisingly enough, other people get all WEIRD when you cut your own kid's hair. As in, "OMG! NOOOOOOOO!" As if they're the ones who have to shampoo and brush that crazy mess.

5. I made a blueberry cheesecake yesterday, and I'm wondering how bad it would be to have that for breakfast.

6. The weathermen were having to hide their boners last night while they reported we might get up to THREE inches of snow last night. THREEEEE! Oh no!!! Stockpile the bread and milk!

I woke up to a light dusting.

7. I'm totally having cheesecake for breakfast.

Monday, January 26, 2009

The one where I'm annoyed at the world

Let me go ahead and preface this post with: I am not a morning person. I am definitely not a morning person at 8:00 AM on a Saturday. Most things, like other people breathing, annoy me at that time of day.

With that said, I was in my anatomy and physiology class on Saturday at 8:00 AM. I sat in the same place I sat in last week, and Mr. and Mrs. Tweedledum also sat right behind me, just like last week. The best I can figure is that these two are married, but I haven't really asked, and I don't care a lot, except who the hell gets married and then takes college classes together? At the age of 40+? And why do they have to sit behind me?

First off, they chatter the whole time. It's not very loud, but I want to turn around and tell them to shut it. No one thinks it's cute that they're furthering their college degree together. It's kind of creepy and weird, and who the hell's keeping the kids?

At the beginning of class, Mr. Tweedledum likes to whip out his Macbook. Fine. Except this is community college and he's the only moron taking notes on a laptop. And then he talks about his laptop THE ENTIRE CLASS. "I don't know if I'll need to take notes with a computer..." "I don't know which program to use..." Look. The class isn't even two hours. If you can't take notes for that long, you should drop out now.

Apparently having a laptop makes one feel very, very smart too, because they both like to answer all the questions the instructor throws out. Not loud enough for the instructor to hear, just loud enough for their own satisfaction, and as it turns out, mine. But here's the thing. They're not always right. And then Mr. or Mrs. Tweedledum kind of clears his/her throat and says, "Oh, erm...heh heh." And then I kind of have to choke back all sorts of evil cackling.

Also super annoying at 8 in the morning on a Saturday...crunching. I don't know what was going on back there, because I was afraid to turn around and look lest I screamed multiple profanities, but Mr. Tweedledum had a whole bag of hard candies or a full cup of ice because he WOULD NOT STOP CRUNCHING. "Metabolism? No? Oh, erm...heh heh *CRUNCH, CRUNCH*"

Also cringe-worthy and annoying was the old lady at the end of my table who video-recorded the whole class. People, it's a hard class, no doubt. It's an important class too. But for the love of all that's holy, it's not rocket science.

I'm not going to make it.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Listy McListerson

1. I'm still here. Barely.

2. I had to drop my math class because when I went to double check the ASN curriculum, the math I was taking no longer fulfilled the requirement. I was a little more than happy to.

3. It's hard, going back to school, three kids, blah, blah, blah. But it is and will be so beneficial to this whole family. The added income once I'm a RN will be great, but the kids watching me do this is the real bonus. I took Big D with me to drop that math class, and he was in awe and had so many questions. I answered all of them and then some. Brainwashing starts early up in this house.

4. The husband pondered which sounds better: President Obama or former President Bush. Either one makes me so giddy I could cry.

5. Something that has been making me giggle all week: When asked where something is, like a sippy cup or his blankie, Boobers points all haphazardly and says, "Dere." Also cute if not a little disconcerting: Big D and Smella playing "squirrel" where one is appointed the squirrel and the other the "keeper." Squirrel crawls around saying, "SQUEEEEEAK" while the other throws food at it. People should procreate just for that kind of shit.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I may never post again

School started Monday, and I'm already a ball of overwhelmedness. Firefox says that isn't a word, but Firefox can suck it.

If I thought I bit off more than I could chew last semester, I got a fucking wake-up call this semester. At first, twelve credit hours seemed doable. Aside from anatomy, the other three classes are really a piece of cake.

I may have been wrong.

I'm struggling with the idea of only going part-time. I think I would feel better mentally, but it's going to take forever to graduate at that pace, and I don't earn as much in grants. When I go full time, grants cover nearly all of tuition and books. If I go part-time, I'll have to take out more student loans. Student loans suck donkey balls.

I have to work at least 18-20 hours a week to maintain all of our health insurance. The husband's health insurance is way too much money. So cutting down hours there really isn't a possibility.

I've thought about giving up a kid or two, but I think the law frowns upon that.

I'm going to buckle down for a couple of weeks. Hell, I haven't even been to my anatomy and physiology class yet. Maybe it'll all fall into place and work itself out. Besides, I only have to make it until May at this pace, right?

Sure, I may have a complete mental breakdown, but I hear they give really good drugs for that.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

At war

For the past few weeks, three-year-old Smella has been trying to give up her nap. It pains me. I used to put both babies down for the afternoon and have a good hour and a half to two hours all to myself until Big D came home from school. I would occasionally do a little happy dance in the hallway after shutting their door. I could do homework. I could nap. I COULD PEE ALL BY MYSELF.

But I realize that at some point, kids stop taking naps. I know this. Big D gave up his nap around this age. I also remember the godawful transition of it. Sure, Smella can survive without a nap, but is she pleasant? Uh, not always. If she doesn't nap in the afternoon, then you can count on a whiny, inconsolable mess of a preschooler around 6:30, which is way too early for bed. She's in that phase where she could still use a nap but is getting too old for one.

Another thing exacerbating the problem is that we converted her crib from a happy baby cage into a toddler bed. Smella discovered a few weeks ago that lo! she can climb out of a baby cage! Since it's dangerous for her to practice her Houdini-like skills with only Boobers as a back up, we took the rail off. And now keeping her in bed is a whole other exercise in self restraint. On both our parts.

While she's very cute and sneaky, she's not the most clever. Most of the time we know she's out of bed because of all the thumping she does. Girl hasn't perfected tip-toeing yet. When she decides to get out of bed and thump around, she likes to grab things that make noise. So if you missed the elephant-like sounds coming from her room, the singing and pinging of her Little Einsteins laptop will clue you in.

I've threatened with my ugliest mommy face, punished, cajoled, begged. Nothing works. She'll eventually go to sleep, sure, but first it's party time in the babies' room! I'll creep down the hall so she doesn't know I'm coming and fling open the door to catch her red-handed. Nothing phases her. She'll shuffle back to bed, promising to stay there, but only after she's completely exhausted will she fall asleep.

I suppose duct tape would be taking it a bit far, no?

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Random Tuesday thoughts


1. My sister got a miniature dachshund named Oscar. I WANT HIM. Only I'll rename him Mr. Snugglewugglecutiesmooshieface.

2. By sheer coincidence, my friend K got a Boston terrier puppy named Oliver. I've seen a picture of him, and I WANT HIM TOO.

3. Except that on Saturday night, K's puppy broke his leg. The emergency vet charged $350 that night, and she's going to have to pay to have it re-splinted every two weeks for a couple of months. Right now, my healthy, sturdy ten-year-old cat is looking pretty good.

4. School starts back up for me next Monday. I'm going to try to go full time this semester. I'm taking anatomy and physiology I, intermediate algebra, sociology, and interpersonal communications. Books for this semester ran me $818. Do you know what I could buy with that amount of money? I'm trying not to think about it.

5. I'm doing laundry today, and I'm obsessed with fabric softener. I'll cheap out on just about everything, but I only buy expensive softener. I figure if I have to do all the laundry, I might as well treat myself to some fine smelling clothes.

6. It's been what? three weeks since we've had our Wii? I still can't beat the husband in tennis, and I can't tell you how fucking annoying it is. And he gloats. What kind of asshole gloats to his wife? This just means that I have to practice harder while he's at work. I hope he doesn't want fresh smelling underwear any time soon.

7. I have to sweep and mop the kitchen now because of my lack of crumb-snatching puppy. But dammit! $350 in x-rays and pain pills! But ohhh, velvety puppy ears and soft puppy paws and puppy breath...

Monday, January 05, 2009

Need entertainment booked? Call me.

Since the holidays are over, my job has finally leveled out. There were a few nights in these past few weeks that were unbearable; everyone and their brother wanted coffee all at the same time, and since there's been budget cuts, staffing has been low. This equals two to three baristas running around like madmen, sloshing hot coffee and spraying mocha everywhere.

God, I love my job.

I worked Saturday night, and for some reason, Saturdays aren't as busy as you'd think. So when I got a phone call from a kid wanting to know if he and his partner could play their acoustic music in our lobby, I said as long as there was room, come on in!

They came. And I think they brought every family member and friend they knew. And all those people came at once, and they all wanted a drink. So not only was the lobby crazy, but I had wary people in drive-thru, avoiding the packed parking lot and wondering what they hell was going on.

After that initial mad rush, it calmed down. The entire lobby was packed, people standing around these two high school kids with guitars and microphones. For the most part, they were actually good. I actually felt guilty for being loud while steaming milk and running the blenders. But then lead singer guy was generous and gave his partner a turn at the mike.

All was good at first. And then #2 got all into it and got really loud and really, really out of tune. The first caterwaul he belted out made my coworkers and I stop dead in our tracks and avoid eye contact while choking back giggles. By the second and third yowls, we had to excuse ourselves to snort in the back room.

At one point, one of the family members that was with the group came up for a refill. #2 wailed in the background, and he laughed and said he needed more coffee, because, whew, that guy was...intense.

They played for two hours or so, and by the end of it, we were maybe a little more than happy they were done. But when they came up and thanked me for the space and opportunity, I smiled and told them they were welcome back any time.

Because that one dude? He needs practice.

Friday, January 02, 2009

Yes, Virginia, it's officially over

While I was at work last night, the husband made a valiant effort to take the tree down. Finally. Everything is boxed up and ready to go, and now all I have to do is vacuum up the "needles" from our very, very fake tree. Assholes. People have fake trees so they don't have to deal with real ones.

The husband disassembled the tree last night after the babies went to bed, so when Smella came out of her room this morning, bleary-eyed and crazy-haired, she got to the living room and gasped.

"OH NO! Where did the tree go?!"

I thought for a moment she was really going to cry.

Big D scoffed at her and told her Christmas was over, the tree has to go away. She accepted that answer, but keeps wandering over to the boxes, running her small hands along them. The girl loves Christmas and all the trimmings, and I think she may be a little wistful that it's over.

I have NO idea where she'd get that from.

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